The heartbeat was running fast. It was close to midnight. Not her midnight, but the midnight from the one that owns her heart and doesn’t want it. Everybody that she sent messages to on New Years Eve are the ones she intends to keep in her life for the next year. Why did she do that with her? After a couple minutes she started to think if she regreted the message and the answer was no. Later, the sun was rising and she felt like a heavy weight was out of her body. When her friends are around her, it seems like everything will be fine and that she has so much love that nothing else matters more than that.
Why can’t she remember her fears anymore? It is like this love and the passion for the castle city stopped to hunt her and it became more of a strength. She got to know so much about herself on those days that she should have understood that before. Her love for the sunflower also doesn't hunt her anymore. Except for the nightmares once in a while. But even when she wakes up with these bad dreams and with the echo of her voice in her memorie, it is like she learned how to deal with this feeling so much that all the pain vanish and transformed itself into other thing.
For now, she doesn't know what this Gefühl is and how her year will be. Nothing is tangible right now. She only has clues. But, in the past she also didn’t know so much. For sure, she will find out what the new journey is about. And she will figure out the place that the sunflower will occupy in her life from now on. Will she have a space in that crowded life again? For the fairy it is simpler. If the sunflower wants to keep her as a friend or something like that, she will accept. Because now it is like those sunny happy days are just a far away memory.
The cards confirmed that she must go on and follow other paths, because the sunflower will not tell her the things she needs to hear. So, why should she wait? The mystic priest warned her that she will not choose and that she should forget about the sunflower for once. But the fairy doesn’t give up on people easily. She likes those that enters her life and changes it for better, even if it is for a short amount of time. So, she will let a space for the sunflower, as long as she feels like it can be a good idea.
For the other parts of the fairy’s life, she will just try to live each day, thinking about every step and not planning on how she will get to the place she wants to be in the future. Because it doesn’t matter where she will be, but with who she will be and how her heart is. So, from now own, she will focus less on the results and more on the journey. It is a big cliche, but it is the truth. Hopefully, the new year will bring joy and peace to her heart and, finally, the freedom from this love, that is not reciprocal.
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